Day Two

a little ways back

            i remember          you

stirring, stirring

feeling odd about             fathers, money, long fences

                                                where people stick their faces

                                                            and weep downward

thinking about    wrapping up  backgrounds

in other colors

            like pink, leather, bad conclusions,

always      a kind of adjusting

always     about money, too expensive

                                                            so

i escape the bills

                               by paying them in curls of hair

or        

       erasing the parts about me  or

sending them little conversations

about weight, my fear       of

  sitting down with mirrors,     distraction,      practicing my

           

                           little girl legs, so much uncrossing involved

           

and by bills, i mean       recollection

the things i owe you

                           for                 displacement

for the chair next to me

where my name sat (my will to stomp)

for saying, break these  in half       again,

to see them      little parts        

me         

and it gets easier

                                                also, to leave

the things that get stuck   between fingers,     teeth,

                                                       two lonely people

names become the stuck in between pieces

                                    other faces

we never think about               

                                               

                                                anything,    but

hugs   and   puking   and

removing the pieces,

all the women               who don’t know me

            who are a few years older than me

and the mirrors, disgusting        like axe blades,                   i wanted to try them on

but

people keep taking off their reflections

it becomes     the only thing    i can’t look away from

near your face,

                        not always easy to     distinguish you from          

without becoming your
        little handfuls
of bones